Saturday, October 4, 2014


Safely uphill with the Leica

This is definitely on the lighter side of Leica lore.  I carefully translated everything from German to English and tried to maintain the basic wording of the originals, including typos and other mistakes.

These are actual letters received by Leica over the years.  We reprint them verbatim (no, those aren't our typos):

“Please allow me to ask if it is possible for you to send a 'Leica' for my disposal in trade for business.  I am offering the following: Insurance of all kind, private hospitalization insurance and Laundry Detergent.  In case you are interested in one or the other...”

“I have three magnifying glasses in average of 10cm diameter, and a close-up set of 5.5.5 and 5.5 cm diameter.  Are you able to make a binocular out of this?  I think it is best to reduce the size of the glass to that of a binocular or photo.  I assume you have binocular housings?”

“Both my Leica cameras were stolen, both cameras black in a briefcase with 1 pound of sausage, ¼ pound butter half a loaf of bread and Leica films (a lady in half figure pose with and without fur.  Lady appr. 50 years).”

“I wish for you to send me a Leisa camera.  If you don't have one in stock then don't send one.”

“I would like to throw a drop of water for hours onto a wall such that it will get a diameter of at least 1 meter...”

“I would like to check if I could buy a photograpfy apparatus.  I would really like to buy a photograpfy apparatus, I will send the money right away, then write to me how much the apparatus is.  One like on the picture that I enclosed.  But sometimes write to me if such an apparatus I can get, and how expensive it is, then I will send the money right away.  Now I must close with the hope that you will send me such a photogrpfy apparatus, I would really like that.  But please, write back to me at once, and send me such an apparatus I will send the money right away.”

A company wrote:
“We need a microscope, three or five barrel...”

A microscope delivered in East Africa proved to have something missing.  The letter requested the following:
“1.  Three lenses that you screw on...”
“2.  The lens through which you look on the top...”
“3.  The lens that is under the table.”
“Other than that the microscope is complete.”

We carefully checked once more.  The typos are definitely not ours.


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  1. As the saying goes, I'm all LOL on the outside, and all WTF on the inside...